I worked up this short little ambient piece yesterday that I think is pretty cool. I haven’t done anything like this since I worked on Christopher Gustave’s “Six Comforts” project. I’d forgotten how much fun it can be. This was all done on a cheapy Yamaha keyboard that was given to me by Gustave incidentally. After some extremely heavy processing it started to sound pretty convincing. This is the kind of stuff you hear on movie soundtracks all the time. Check it out.

Click here to download

1.21 MB

1 minute 19 seconds

Last week I had a CT scan of my sinuses as ordered by my Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Today I had an appointment with him to discuss his findings. After shoving the jaws of life up my nose and spreading my nostrils wide enough for him to walk through, he determined that my nose is crooked. This is causing my nose innards to rub together and become irritated…thus the swelling…thus the mucus…thus the chunk of snot in my throat.

He’s not completely convinced that this is the case but it’s his hunch since the CT scan showed that everything was pretty much normal. He gave me a bunch of prescriptions and told me to come back in a couple of months. He said that if those don’t work I should consider surgery to straighten out my booger tunnels. I’m all for that. Then I could get my pinky even closer to my brain.

Last night was Josh Kohn’s CD release party. Yes that CD. The one he’s been promising for the last fifteen years…literally. Nate, Mike, and I were asked to be his backing band along with the incomperable Steve Bunck on drums: a regular reader of this blog I’m proud to say. Hi Steve. Steve was the first person to inform (warn) The Drew Johnson Band that we had been dubbed The Drunk Johnson Band back in the days of yore. We quickly cleaned up our act. Thanks Steve.

Have you ever had that dream where you’re playing your first gig with the Black Crowes in front of a packed stadium and as the drummer is counting off the first tune you realize that you don’t know any of the songs? Me too. Weird. Well that prophesy was fulfilled at last night’s show. I did what any resourceful guitar player would do and turned my amp way down. I’ve never been paid that much money for being so incompetent. I had a blast though. It was the first time since Dino’s wedding that I’ve played my sax in public. With Nate doubling on trumpet we formed a pretty decent makeshift horn section.

I’d been told that Joe’s Cafe (the site of last night’s show) is the coolest place in St. Louis to hang out. I now see why. That place is amazing. No advertising. No liquor license. No problem. The place is apparently packed every Thursday…which happens to be the only night of the week they’re open. Last night was no exception. If you want to check it out you can find the address on Josh’s flier. Don’t tell anyone I told you. If you have to ask where it is, you’re not cool enough to be there. I had to ask.

Dino called me today to let me know that we are officially eBrothers in the fight against evil computers. His Mac died this week. Fortunately Dino is smart enough to have everything backed up. They told him that it’s possible he’ll have it back by Friday.

Most of the overdubs we’ve done are on Dino’s Mac. Before his comp bit it, Dino was in the process of dumping all the overdubs onto CDs so I can pick which performances are the best and do any editing that needs to be done before we send the whole mess off to Hughes. So this is yet another speed bump on the road to a finished album.

We’re going to be meeting with Hughes this week (I hope) to discuss the record and decide what needs to be done next. We’ll probably listen to some demos and pick some more songs to go on the album. We’ll keep you posted.

I’m going to make this extremely long story as short as I can. The last two weeks have been pure poo cakes. My wife has started referring to me as Job.

After you read this please do me the honor of sparing me the “Here’s what you should have done” or “Man you got f****d” statements. I know. Trust me…I know.

Tuesday, April 25th

-My computer dies in a buzzing and sputtering fit.
-I email Rich (roving computer expert) explaining the symptoms. I think it’s the motherboard. Rich agrees.

Wednesday, April 26th

-I get a second opinion from Dino (resident computer expert) at band practice. He agrees that it’s the motherboard.

Thursday, April 27th

—A little info here. Replacing a mobo with the exact same mobo is an easy and painless process. Replacing a mobo with a different mobo requires more computer knowledge than I happen to have. When I built this PC I got the mobo in a package deal with the computer tower and power supply. The only way to insure that I get the exact same mobo is to order the same package deal. I don’t really need the case and the power supply but I figure the extra $45 or $50 is worth it knowing that I’m getting exactly what I had before. From here on out just remember that the countless bytes of data on my computer are not replaceable. My life’s work lives on my two hard drives. Data loss is not a option. Yes, some of it is backed up. No, not all of it.—

- Order a new mobo from ZipZoomFly. Pay an extra $40 to have it shipped overnight.

Friday, April 28th

- Rush home to rebuild my PC.
- Find no package.
- Hope FedEx is running late.

—Later that night—

- Receive an email message saying that my order has not been shipped. I need to call them to verify my credit card number.
- Be angry.
- Call ZipZoomFly.
- They’re closed for the day.
- Repeat step two.

Saturday, April 29th

- Call ZipZoomFly again.
- They’re closed…for the weekend.
- Leave a message asking them to call me first thing Monday morning.

Monday, May 1st

- Call ZipZoomFly. Answering machine again.
- Leave a more desperate message requesting a returned call.

Tuesday, May 2nd

- Repeat yesterday’s steps with an even more desperate message and a little begging.
- Recieve an email 12 hours later confirming that my order has been shipped.
- Minor celebration.

Wednesday, May 3rd

- Rush home and find my package on the front porch.
- Feel a great sense of relief.
- This should take me about an hour to fix.
- Disassemble the dead PC.
- This new mobo doesn’t look like the old one.
- Insert the CPU and realize that the new CPU slot is the wrong type.
- Throw things.
- Try not to cry.
- Reassemble the dead PC and reluctantly decide to take the thing to Computer Rapeissance.
- Half hour drive to Computer Rapeissance.
- “Do you have an appointment”?
- No.
- “We have an opening on Saturday. Would you like to leave it until then”?
- Whatever.

—Sub Plot—

- Arrive at home.
- Receive an email from our web host saying that our site is being shut down for lack of payment.
- What!?!? I never received any warning.
- Put in on the Visa.
- Be angry.
- Email ZipZoomFly requesting a return authorization code. Learn that shipping costs are not refundable. Learn that there’s a 15% re-stocking fee.
- Be angry.

Friday, May 5th

—Sub Plot—

- That afternoon I had a doctor appointment. My ongoing mucus problem is not getting much better. I am referred to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. That appointment will be Monday. The doctor also realizes that my blood pressure is very high. Imagine that. We get into a whole conversation about my family’s health history. It’s not good. My dad had multiple bypass surgery when he was way too young to have multiple bypass surgery. I will also need to have my cholesterol checked on Monday.

- Gig at Cicero’s that night. Arrive at 6:30 for load in. Learn that we can’t load in until 8:00. Learn that I didn’t know this because I didn’t check my formulakid email because my computer is down.
-Be angry.

Saturday, May 6th

- No call from Computer Rapeissance.

Sunday, May 7th

- No call from Computer Rapeissance.
- Call Computer Rapeissance.
- “Yeah man I was about to call you. We had some guys call off this weekend. They’ll probably get to it on Monday”.
- Be angry.

Monday, May 8th (About 6:00PM. Computer Rapeissance closes at 7:00)

- “Hey man. It’s Ben from Computer Rapeissance. Your motherboard is fried.”
- No Doy!?!
- “The new mobo is about $70. Labor will be about $127. I’ll need your Windows XP disc and the product code to do a repair installation. As soon as you can run that up here (half hour drive) we can get it done.”
- That’s gonna be a big, big, big problem. My Windows CD is a copy that was given to me by a friend. I am informed that Computer Rapeissance cannot legally repair my computer without a legit copy of Windows.

—Sub Plot—

- I go to the ENT doctor. He wants to do a CT Scan on my sinuses in ten days. He doesn’t know what the problem is.
- Have blood drawn for cholesterol test.

Tuesday, May 9th

- Talk to Ben and tell him that I’ll go ahead and buy a new copy of Windows XP Pro from them. It’s twice the price that I would pay online. It’s $200.
- Be angry.
- Ben says he’ll probably have it done this afternoon.
- He doesn’t.

—Sub Plot—

-I receive an extremely scathing email to my MySpace account. It’s a review of our show at Cicero’s. Here’s a small sample. (This is copied and pasted. The spelling is not mine)

” the dums were low in the mix. the bass hey boards were lost in the mush of loudness and had no good distinction.
your guitar was distorted into a sonic mush of piercing high tones.
your vocal was a sota drown out and ground under all this noise.
noise was the overarching effect of the sound in the room. a high pitched squlchy sound. all the instruments combining together in their state of being over driven into the room PA and there by distoted became an ear bleeding sonic attack. ”

Present day, May 10th

- It’s done.
- The total at Computer Rapeissance? $408.
- As I’m paying for the repairs my phone rings. It’s the doctor’s office.
- As soon as I get in the car I call them back. They have the results of my cholesterol test. The girl looks at my chart and (I am not kidding) her first word was “Wow”! My cholesterol and triglycerides and all that other stuff are off the charts. I’m put on a low cholesterol diet.
- On my way home I stop at the UPS store to ship my stuff back to ZipZoomFly. It costs $20.

Thanks to everyone who came out to the show last night. The crowd was great. Eero was great. Donny and The Feelgoods were great. But most importantly we were great. We really appreciated everyone sticking it out so late. There were more people there at the end of our set than at the beginning. That NEVER happens. People usually run screaming for the exits as soon as we start playing.

Thanks also to everyone who expressed concern for my computer and my mental stability. I’ll tell that story as soon as I get the puter back from the shop and after I see the bill…and after I decide if it’s a story I can look back on and laugh.

Since the blog has been so silent lately I’ll catch you up on some (or at least one) of the goings-on over the last couple of weeks. Last weekend Angel and I did some ghost hunting with our friends Brian McClelland and his wife Kim at The Lemp Mansion. The Lemp Mansion is reportedly one of the most haunted places in America. This is the third time Angel and I have spent the night there. The first time was with The Drew Johnson Band, Christopher Gustave, and the various wives and girlfriends. We were celebrating the completion of Invention of the Wheel. That evening is a blog posting in and of itself. If I can find the pictures maybe I’ll do that soon.

The second time we stayed there was with our friends Eryn and Rich. That was about a year ago and shortly before my knee surgery so I had an ample supply of Vicadin. My memory of that night is still rather blurry due to my eating of pain killers being very poorly timed. I do however remember Rich looking rather dashing dressed (or undressed as it were) as a sumo wrestler.

So that brings me to our third and most recent stay at the Lemp. This stay was similar to our previous stays in that we experienced absolutely zero ghostly activity. But then Angel got an email from Kim saying that they looked at their pictures the next morning and saw all kinds of orbs in them. So naturally we took a close look at our pictures and, blow me down, we gots ‘em too. So everyone just go ahead and get the eye-rolling over with now and let me know when you’re ready to move on.

Feel better?

Good.

I don’t really believe in ghosts either but it sure makes for a fun evening. So here are some of the pictures.

In this first picture you can see some sort of energy (< ---joke...it's just some blurry somethinorother) over the radiator.

This one is of the same thing without the somethinorother. Yes I know the first pic is blurry. Yes we’re kinda reaching here. Yes you can shut up now. Just play along. The room was expensive.

In this next one there are two small orbs. One is in front of Brian’s mouth and the other is in front of his penis. I know they’re small. They get bigger. Then in the mirror there is something that looks like a white string or rope. The part of the wall that the mirror is reflecting has nothing hanging there.

This next one shows a huge orb all hugged up to Brian’s nip. And the mirror has the same string thing in it.

If you look very closely at this next one you can see the ghost of Brian’s past right next to Kim. Coincidence? We think he might be trying to contact her. Decide for yourself.

Yet another appearance by Brian’s ghost. Angel says the ball in the middle is an orb. I think it’s just a reflection in the lense. Either way the McClelland ghost is undeniable.

The rest are just some random pictures from the night.

This last one is of the same mirror without the string of death. Yes I know the angle is different. Work with me here.

Angel and I celebrated our 8th anniversary on May 2nd. A big thanks goes out to Riley for celebrating with us, and to the staff at Arby’s for the extra mayo.

Don’t forget to come celebrate Cinco De Mayo with your favorite Spanish band (that’s us) at Cicero’s tomorrow night. We’re playing last which means we’ll go on around 11:00 or 11:30.

I’ve run into a horrible string of bad luck here lately. I’ll fill you in when I’m able to type in my inside voice. I still don’t have my computer fixed…among other things.